Saturday, July 11, 2009
Friday, July 11, 2008
POPCORN CINEMA
THE NOTES OF A DIRTY YOUNG MEXICAN ARE BACK. WE ARE SORRY IF WE CAUSE YOU ANY INCONVINIENCE, BUT WE WHERE WORKING HARDLY ON CONSTRUCTIONS, CONVINIENCE STORES, VINEYARDS, KITCHENS, BUSES, ETC... THIS NEW EPISODE SHOWS THE LUCK OF OUR DEAR ILLEGAL ALIEN TRYING TO GET INTO THE FILM INDUSTRY. ENJOY AND HOPE TO HAVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL EYES IN THE NOTES OF THIS DIRTY CREATURE.
Popcorn cinema
1. YELLOW PAGES.
There are some methods to achieve goals; I’m not pretty sure about what the fuck I’m doing here. So finally I tried to get rid of my identity, and now it’s time to search for the golden opportunity. There’s a lot of free stuff in this town, and that is terrific, I got my blanket pack for free, more than four free newspapers, and with the ones that costs that they dropt them in the night I can make a pretty comfortable pillow.
2. THE MORNING
I woke up and find out that I’m still drooling the pillows,; however a message from some of the powerful forces from above send me a message, and in that moment I start remembering my dreams, once on my little pueblito, the cinema came to us, it was a trailer with a lot of big speakers and a huge screen, I was amazed by that and I realized that I want to be a movie star, that is quite predictable, probably one of the commonest dreams anywhere, but it was my dream and after all the bad things happened and beer bottles , chicks, several parties crossed my path vanished all my expectations to became a movie star. And so, I was astonished reading that signal, the people that was crossing the street next to my bedroom, the porch of an abandoned book store, look at me as if I were enlighted, and I was definitely impressed with something that can probably change the course of my life: “MOVIE CASTING”. Here I go. Filling the application was certainly a huge problem, because I was lack of identity, but let’s start again, we can fake, however the only thing they want is you to pay taxes, am I right?
3. SOLIDARITY
I decide to take the subway and visit some “good fellas” at the mission, to get a Social Security Fake number, and then I arrive with anything but my huge presence, looking like the bum I am and hoping that some good compatriots will help me. A picturesque character was standing up in front of a trash can, that is probably a symbol, but I wasn’t analyzing any thing so I decide to talk to him:
- Hey man, what’s up?
- Hablas español
- Si compadre, que necesitas (I’m going to switch to English but just want to let you know that the conversation was in Spanish)
- Well I need… you know
- I know what ese.
- Well you know, the thing
- What thing compadre? Talk to me clearly
- Mmm… well, I need some help
- What kind of help, you fucking beaners are so complicated
- And what the fuck you are?
- I’m a legal citizen you motherfucker, not like you, look at you, you scum
- Fuck you, fucking pocho, you are not even an american you are nothing an orphan of the world
- Well at least I have papers
- Go and stick up in your ass
- Chinga tu madre
- Chinga la tuya
4. ZEITGEIST
And then, I was upset, nothing of nothing. So I decide to get into an office of social assistance, probably I could get some help there, they will ask me for money but all I can offer is a huge smile. And I crossed the door:
- Buenas tardes (then again I’ll switch to English because this dialogue was also in Spanish)
- Good afternoon lady
- What can I do for you?
- Well, I have a problem
- Tell me
- I want to apply for a job but I don’t have papers
- That is certainly a problem, but isn’t anything we can solve. In that moment the bars and the stars where shining for me.
- Really?
- Really
- Well, look I found on this newspaper, this add, check it
- All right… so, you have skills as an actor
- Yes I do
- Really? Tell me what have you done so far
- Well, I used to be a huge TV star on my small community, I perform big rolls, such as pancho villa, in the revenge of moctezuma, and also I perform Pito Perez in our adaptation of moby dick, and as you can tell I’m certainly a talent, don’t you think so? In that peaceful moment the lady got seduced by my gorgeous moustache and my brown teeth
- All right, fantastic, it’s an honor to meet you Mr.?
- Xavier Gonzalez Casanova
- Mr. Gonzalez Casanova, welcome to America. The black door of my cave was opening slowly, spreading rays of light with that celestial postmodern music from L.A. and a brunette pin up dolly from the 50’s who was paraphrasing the Venus of Milo wink me with sutil guitar strings.
- Thank you.
After that she made me a SSN and helps me filling the application for the casting call. I was ready.
5. THE GOODWILL
I was needing clothes, and a bath, charity is definitely a liberal hobby, so, I use the information from the social assistance office and I remind me as the principal character from Ricardo’s Benett : “news from afar”, I got there, and I was picking up the look to impress and seduce this people, of course I was gonna succeed, my taste it’s something they have never seen before. There was a mountain of clothes, all the homeless where picking up the hodies and the jackets, but that was not my situation, I didn’t need any of those, so was idealizing myself and I remember from my experience that the fashionable look in my land it’s to look like Luis Miguel, obviously I wasn’t going to find clothes like that in that trash can, but there was some clothes in a box from an old lady from pacific heights, and inside there was several things that can be useful to surprise the people on that production company. I took some old style silk blouses with some tropical design, a pair of dark jeans that really fit on me and part of a set of fake jewelry accessories. Then I look at myself in the mirror, with that gorgeous brown skin, that fake gold chain, my tropical blouse the black fitted jeans, Oh my god, I was looking like a Spanish pop character from the 80’s. What the fuck, they will find that cool, let’s see what’s going on.
6. THE MOP
There I was, a huge black gate in front of me, a good looking man with a filled application and nothing to loose, I rang the bell a speaker talks to me:
- Yes?
- I’m here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, well try it
- Thanks
The hall smells like fame and glory and an innocent man was walking there to turn into the biggest menace of Hollywood. And then I arrive to a lobby:
- Good morning, who are you looking for?
- Well, I came here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, well, they are interviewing people right now, do you want to pass
- Oh yes, please, here is my application
- Ok…. Mr. Xavier, hold on let me announce you
- Thank yous
I was starting to sweat, shit all my fancy outfit with my lady perfume smell and my crazy jewelry was going to be ruined.
- Go on
And I cross another door, there was a camera man and a fancy guy sitting down in a chair, in front of them a guy with a French hat a fat woman with a notebook and a skinny guy with a shirt of black and white bars.
- So, you sound terrific for the roll, one last question, what is your ethnicity
- Thank you, well, I’m part Irish, part Ukrainian, part German and a little bit of Spaniard.
- Fantastic, we will call you back.
- Oh! Thank you guys
In the moment he was standing up a guy approach me.
- Finally you are here, where the fuck you where? You are late again Pedro, take the mop an clean the stage 2 right now
- Oh, sorry, I’m not Pedro, I came here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, I’m sorry, try it, this is a free country
- Oh well, thank you sir.
- So, who is next. A loud voice nearby the stage sounds
- Well, me.
- And you are?
- Xavier Gonzalez Casanova
- Come in and sit down
- Thank you. The lights where in front of my eyes, I was shining and they where enchanted
- What do you think clara?
- This is hilarious Tom
- Yes it is, well, lets have fun; so? Mr. Gonzalez, tell me about yourself
- Well I was burn in zacatembaro Huxilac, a little town nearby the gulf of Guadalupe, as you know in the american Mediterranean
- Oh! Yes, I have been there several times, nice place, a little bit dirty but nice anyway
- Anyway, and I just came here, because I have been always into acting.
- Really? Tell me about your experience as an actor
- Well… probably you remember me for films as “Amores Perros”
- Oh! Yes, I love that film, tell me which roll you where playing there
- Oh! Well, I was one of the friends during the gang fight, the third on the second line at the background
- Really?? Well at least you have been working on serious productions
- Oh yes, and I have also been on the stage several times
- Really?? Which rolls?
- Oh! Well, eustaquio Lecumberry in “The death of the general Barrabas” and Sigfrido HIchombro in “The lord of Chalma”
- Fantastic, some of my favorite characters of the Mexican literature
- Really?? They are some of my favorites too. Then the silence break into the room
- Okay Xavier, I’m not going to make this longer, I hope you know what are we doing here
- Movies, right?
- Yes, but do you know what kind of movies?
- Well I bet quality films
- In certain way
- Okay?
- Xavier, are you familiar with the adult entertainment
- You mean adult entertainment
- Come on Xavier, don’t be naïf. You know exactly what I mean
- Oh, okay, I know exactly what you mean
- And this isn’t a conventional adult film
- Really, what is involved in? Animals?
- No Xavier, we hadn’t get that far, this is adult entertainment for gay people. In that moment I remind my grandma telling me when I was little, everything is allowed here, even the scandals, but if you turn into a faggot, I swear I will take out from the grave your grandfather and make him make you man, all right you little scum?
- Well, I think I’m not interested, but thank you for the coffee.
- Xavier, and what would you say if I pay you EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS. Holly shit, in that moment I start to loose all my scruples, I sit down again.
- Really?
- You have my word
- Can you tell me a little bit about the story?
- Well, telling stories in porn films was a fashion during the seventies and eighties, the trends of today belongs to a new genre called “reality”; we don’t need a story, just information that looks realistic. And in our chase you are a illegal worker, that you are certainly not y, who arrives to an office to ask for a job, and when they ask you for papers you will just act like yourself telling that you are illegal, and so your employer, who is a huge american guy will start fucking your ass, what do you think about it?
The cruelest situation is that that was a metaphor of my reality.
- Oh, It sounds great but isn’t part of my interests.
- Think about it, I know that you guys are religious and stuff, there’s nothing to be afraid, as time change we turn into the educators of society, we teach sexual health to the youth, we the pornographers are dedicated to the people in solitude, making pedagogy on each film, making your experience better, and you, our talent, can be considered as “the saints”, on the fifth teen century there was a guy named Alban Butler, who wrote the “the life of saints” named by the historians as the hagiography, many of those where sinners who turn into enlighted people, by scarifying their pleasures. In this chase you are making religion dear. How? Doing as a duty what you do for pleasure in this life, and as the time goes by, your mind will be free the last thing you will think about it’s going to be in sex, you will sacrifice for the people In solitude, and then you will be part of my hagiography.
I stand up and left the studio. The pornographer was jelling at me
- That’s why you don’t progress, because you are still attached to a moral that doesn’t exists anymore, return to your shitty movies, you fucking wet back!
7- POPCORN CINEMA
(Translated from the Spanish)
Dear mom:
Guess what? I finally got a job. That is great isn’t it? Well let me tell you the story, as you know I love to socialize and make friends all the time, we where on a party the other day and a gut told me that they where searching for talent in a casting agency. I decide to take my risks and I went there, obviously before that I went to a fancy store to get some clothes and a bottle of lotion. Everything was terrific by that time, I need to cancel the same day three appointment for people who wants me to work at their place as an employ, but definitely I came here to show my executive skills. Anyway mom, the thing is that I arrive to this agency and they interview me, they where enchanted by my beautiful accent and my great smile, but guess what, I deny the job, because it was a small roll, and I need to sell myself higher because I know that if I don’t do that they will use me for that kind of rolls. But there’s some good news mommy, after that a friend told me, that they where looking for people to work at a movie theater and I went there, they offer me this job selling popcorn, apparently there’s going to be opportunities to grow up inside the company and probably I can turn into the floor manager, which is terrific, and you never know, probably some Hollywood agent can come to the theater and get seduced by me.
Anyway mom, I hope you are doing great, don’t write me to this address because this is the address of the movie theater, I’ll send you my new address soon.
May god bless you mom.
Sincerely yours, the homesick Alien.
Popcorn cinema
1. YELLOW PAGES.
There are some methods to achieve goals; I’m not pretty sure about what the fuck I’m doing here. So finally I tried to get rid of my identity, and now it’s time to search for the golden opportunity. There’s a lot of free stuff in this town, and that is terrific, I got my blanket pack for free, more than four free newspapers, and with the ones that costs that they dropt them in the night I can make a pretty comfortable pillow.
2. THE MORNING
I woke up and find out that I’m still drooling the pillows,; however a message from some of the powerful forces from above send me a message, and in that moment I start remembering my dreams, once on my little pueblito, the cinema came to us, it was a trailer with a lot of big speakers and a huge screen, I was amazed by that and I realized that I want to be a movie star, that is quite predictable, probably one of the commonest dreams anywhere, but it was my dream and after all the bad things happened and beer bottles , chicks, several parties crossed my path vanished all my expectations to became a movie star. And so, I was astonished reading that signal, the people that was crossing the street next to my bedroom, the porch of an abandoned book store, look at me as if I were enlighted, and I was definitely impressed with something that can probably change the course of my life: “MOVIE CASTING”. Here I go. Filling the application was certainly a huge problem, because I was lack of identity, but let’s start again, we can fake, however the only thing they want is you to pay taxes, am I right?
3. SOLIDARITY
I decide to take the subway and visit some “good fellas” at the mission, to get a Social Security Fake number, and then I arrive with anything but my huge presence, looking like the bum I am and hoping that some good compatriots will help me. A picturesque character was standing up in front of a trash can, that is probably a symbol, but I wasn’t analyzing any thing so I decide to talk to him:
- Hey man, what’s up?
- Hablas español
- Si compadre, que necesitas (I’m going to switch to English but just want to let you know that the conversation was in Spanish)
- Well I need… you know
- I know what ese.
- Well you know, the thing
- What thing compadre? Talk to me clearly
- Mmm… well, I need some help
- What kind of help, you fucking beaners are so complicated
- And what the fuck you are?
- I’m a legal citizen you motherfucker, not like you, look at you, you scum
- Fuck you, fucking pocho, you are not even an american you are nothing an orphan of the world
- Well at least I have papers
- Go and stick up in your ass
- Chinga tu madre
- Chinga la tuya
4. ZEITGEIST
And then, I was upset, nothing of nothing. So I decide to get into an office of social assistance, probably I could get some help there, they will ask me for money but all I can offer is a huge smile. And I crossed the door:
- Buenas tardes (then again I’ll switch to English because this dialogue was also in Spanish)
- Good afternoon lady
- What can I do for you?
- Well, I have a problem
- Tell me
- I want to apply for a job but I don’t have papers
- That is certainly a problem, but isn’t anything we can solve. In that moment the bars and the stars where shining for me.
- Really?
- Really
- Well, look I found on this newspaper, this add, check it
- All right… so, you have skills as an actor
- Yes I do
- Really? Tell me what have you done so far
- Well, I used to be a huge TV star on my small community, I perform big rolls, such as pancho villa, in the revenge of moctezuma, and also I perform Pito Perez in our adaptation of moby dick, and as you can tell I’m certainly a talent, don’t you think so? In that peaceful moment the lady got seduced by my gorgeous moustache and my brown teeth
- All right, fantastic, it’s an honor to meet you Mr.?
- Xavier Gonzalez Casanova
- Mr. Gonzalez Casanova, welcome to America. The black door of my cave was opening slowly, spreading rays of light with that celestial postmodern music from L.A. and a brunette pin up dolly from the 50’s who was paraphrasing the Venus of Milo wink me with sutil guitar strings.
- Thank you.
After that she made me a SSN and helps me filling the application for the casting call. I was ready.
5. THE GOODWILL
I was needing clothes, and a bath, charity is definitely a liberal hobby, so, I use the information from the social assistance office and I remind me as the principal character from Ricardo’s Benett : “news from afar”, I got there, and I was picking up the look to impress and seduce this people, of course I was gonna succeed, my taste it’s something they have never seen before. There was a mountain of clothes, all the homeless where picking up the hodies and the jackets, but that was not my situation, I didn’t need any of those, so was idealizing myself and I remember from my experience that the fashionable look in my land it’s to look like Luis Miguel, obviously I wasn’t going to find clothes like that in that trash can, but there was some clothes in a box from an old lady from pacific heights, and inside there was several things that can be useful to surprise the people on that production company. I took some old style silk blouses with some tropical design, a pair of dark jeans that really fit on me and part of a set of fake jewelry accessories. Then I look at myself in the mirror, with that gorgeous brown skin, that fake gold chain, my tropical blouse the black fitted jeans, Oh my god, I was looking like a Spanish pop character from the 80’s. What the fuck, they will find that cool, let’s see what’s going on.
6. THE MOP
There I was, a huge black gate in front of me, a good looking man with a filled application and nothing to loose, I rang the bell a speaker talks to me:
- Yes?
- I’m here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, well try it
- Thanks
The hall smells like fame and glory and an innocent man was walking there to turn into the biggest menace of Hollywood. And then I arrive to a lobby:
- Good morning, who are you looking for?
- Well, I came here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, well, they are interviewing people right now, do you want to pass
- Oh yes, please, here is my application
- Ok…. Mr. Xavier, hold on let me announce you
- Thank yous
I was starting to sweat, shit all my fancy outfit with my lady perfume smell and my crazy jewelry was going to be ruined.
- Go on
And I cross another door, there was a camera man and a fancy guy sitting down in a chair, in front of them a guy with a French hat a fat woman with a notebook and a skinny guy with a shirt of black and white bars.
- So, you sound terrific for the roll, one last question, what is your ethnicity
- Thank you, well, I’m part Irish, part Ukrainian, part German and a little bit of Spaniard.
- Fantastic, we will call you back.
- Oh! Thank you guys
In the moment he was standing up a guy approach me.
- Finally you are here, where the fuck you where? You are late again Pedro, take the mop an clean the stage 2 right now
- Oh, sorry, I’m not Pedro, I came here for the casting call
- Ha ha… yeah right, I’m sorry, try it, this is a free country
- Oh well, thank you sir.
- So, who is next. A loud voice nearby the stage sounds
- Well, me.
- And you are?
- Xavier Gonzalez Casanova
- Come in and sit down
- Thank you. The lights where in front of my eyes, I was shining and they where enchanted
- What do you think clara?
- This is hilarious Tom
- Yes it is, well, lets have fun; so? Mr. Gonzalez, tell me about yourself
- Well I was burn in zacatembaro Huxilac, a little town nearby the gulf of Guadalupe, as you know in the american Mediterranean
- Oh! Yes, I have been there several times, nice place, a little bit dirty but nice anyway
- Anyway, and I just came here, because I have been always into acting.
- Really? Tell me about your experience as an actor
- Well… probably you remember me for films as “Amores Perros”
- Oh! Yes, I love that film, tell me which roll you where playing there
- Oh! Well, I was one of the friends during the gang fight, the third on the second line at the background
- Really?? Well at least you have been working on serious productions
- Oh yes, and I have also been on the stage several times
- Really?? Which rolls?
- Oh! Well, eustaquio Lecumberry in “The death of the general Barrabas” and Sigfrido HIchombro in “The lord of Chalma”
- Fantastic, some of my favorite characters of the Mexican literature
- Really?? They are some of my favorites too. Then the silence break into the room
- Okay Xavier, I’m not going to make this longer, I hope you know what are we doing here
- Movies, right?
- Yes, but do you know what kind of movies?
- Well I bet quality films
- In certain way
- Okay?
- Xavier, are you familiar with the adult entertainment
- You mean adult entertainment
- Come on Xavier, don’t be naïf. You know exactly what I mean
- Oh, okay, I know exactly what you mean
- And this isn’t a conventional adult film
- Really, what is involved in? Animals?
- No Xavier, we hadn’t get that far, this is adult entertainment for gay people. In that moment I remind my grandma telling me when I was little, everything is allowed here, even the scandals, but if you turn into a faggot, I swear I will take out from the grave your grandfather and make him make you man, all right you little scum?
- Well, I think I’m not interested, but thank you for the coffee.
- Xavier, and what would you say if I pay you EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS. Holly shit, in that moment I start to loose all my scruples, I sit down again.
- Really?
- You have my word
- Can you tell me a little bit about the story?
- Well, telling stories in porn films was a fashion during the seventies and eighties, the trends of today belongs to a new genre called “reality”; we don’t need a story, just information that looks realistic. And in our chase you are a illegal worker, that you are certainly not y, who arrives to an office to ask for a job, and when they ask you for papers you will just act like yourself telling that you are illegal, and so your employer, who is a huge american guy will start fucking your ass, what do you think about it?
The cruelest situation is that that was a metaphor of my reality.
- Oh, It sounds great but isn’t part of my interests.
- Think about it, I know that you guys are religious and stuff, there’s nothing to be afraid, as time change we turn into the educators of society, we teach sexual health to the youth, we the pornographers are dedicated to the people in solitude, making pedagogy on each film, making your experience better, and you, our talent, can be considered as “the saints”, on the fifth teen century there was a guy named Alban Butler, who wrote the “the life of saints” named by the historians as the hagiography, many of those where sinners who turn into enlighted people, by scarifying their pleasures. In this chase you are making religion dear. How? Doing as a duty what you do for pleasure in this life, and as the time goes by, your mind will be free the last thing you will think about it’s going to be in sex, you will sacrifice for the people In solitude, and then you will be part of my hagiography.
I stand up and left the studio. The pornographer was jelling at me
- That’s why you don’t progress, because you are still attached to a moral that doesn’t exists anymore, return to your shitty movies, you fucking wet back!
7- POPCORN CINEMA
(Translated from the Spanish)
Dear mom:
Guess what? I finally got a job. That is great isn’t it? Well let me tell you the story, as you know I love to socialize and make friends all the time, we where on a party the other day and a gut told me that they where searching for talent in a casting agency. I decide to take my risks and I went there, obviously before that I went to a fancy store to get some clothes and a bottle of lotion. Everything was terrific by that time, I need to cancel the same day three appointment for people who wants me to work at their place as an employ, but definitely I came here to show my executive skills. Anyway mom, the thing is that I arrive to this agency and they interview me, they where enchanted by my beautiful accent and my great smile, but guess what, I deny the job, because it was a small roll, and I need to sell myself higher because I know that if I don’t do that they will use me for that kind of rolls. But there’s some good news mommy, after that a friend told me, that they where looking for people to work at a movie theater and I went there, they offer me this job selling popcorn, apparently there’s going to be opportunities to grow up inside the company and probably I can turn into the floor manager, which is terrific, and you never know, probably some Hollywood agent can come to the theater and get seduced by me.
Anyway mom, I hope you are doing great, don’t write me to this address because this is the address of the movie theater, I’ll send you my new address soon.
May god bless you mom.
Sincerely yours, the homesick Alien.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
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